Oh wow, was my mother a narcissist?

I've never considered her being one... But everything you describe is bang on!

Oh dear... We have a good relationship now. But it took years of silence on my part, the decision to break away from her and risking losing my love for her when I was brave enough to admit to my anger when it came to her (not directly to her, just to myself).

It was a life-changing experience. I was over 30 by that time and what I feared did happen in the end. As I let my anger out one day, my love for my mother went up in flames and was gone. Even to this day there is none of that love I used to have for her.

Actually, I can't have any intense feelings any longer. Or perhaps the normal feelings of love simply are pale in comparison to the drama which used to reign my soul. Drama I used to think was love but clearly wasn't. It was just a very unhealthy form of attachment, more dispare than anything else I guess.

What we have today is a new relationship, one of respect and very cautious.

But you are right - only once I've learned that we keep gravitating towards relationships which feel like home, I managed to stop myself from letting such destructive people into my life.

But the biggest problem I found was the lack of boundaries. I wasn't allowed any and hence, any idiot could walk all over me.

I've only learned to build some at the age of 40 but I guess better late than never :)