I keep trying to find an answer in my head which I could give to my oh so British husband to explain, what romance is.

In the end, it’s oh so very simple and interestingly enough very similar to my long-found-answer as to what love is. Love is effort we make for each other. And so is romance.

So what is the difference? A romantic gesture tends to be a bit bigger.

Let me give you an example of love in my every-day-life.

Every day my husband makes the effort to remember to touch me when he passes me by…


Central Park, NY, copyright Dasha Schindler LTD

Here is the short story of an uncle of mine. He’s 70 something. Yes, 70 odd years old. He was married for a long time and a couple of years ago finally got divorced. I say finally, because those two were miserable and we all knew it.

While his ex-wife is heartbroken and has no life of her own and is completely lost, he’s thriving more than ever. He has two girlfriends. No, not at the same time. But…to make things bizarre, they both have the same name, let’s say it’s Mary. …


"If you can't fight them, fool them", right? :)

What a great article, Jenna! LOVE the history of individuals, it makes history real to me. Like the story of my great grandma and grandpa. I knew them both, which made their story even more intriguing. Long story though, will tell another time.

Just like the Spanish lesbian couple, I was thinking in similar ways. My sexuality wasn't offending anyone, I'm straight (more or less ;). My problem was still the unresolved issue of being able to have both a family as well as a fulfilling intellectual life and career. I…


You are so right in your view of wether people are really bad. If I could have given more than 50 claps, I would have.

I respond similarly to any discussion about racism and war and how this world is going to hell.

I turn around and say, "Hey, as far as I know, most Muslims, Jews and Christians are simply normal people with families, who just want to live their quiet lives. And so does the rest of us who are not religious. WE...don't want any war. Just because of our governments playing games and those few people reacting…


I don’t have my own room. And I’m crumbling.

I know, I know, Virginia Woolf’s Essay was actually called ‘A Room of One’s Own’ but I always thought, it should have been called ‘her own’ because in the end she discussed the need for a woman to have her own room. And she was so bloody right. …


I know this sounds absurd but it’s just an observation I have of my step children in comparison to the childhoods of my generation.

Children these days suffer severe trauma when bullied at school.

I’m not trying to diminish their suffering, not at all, ok? But here’s my question.

Our generation was also bullied. In particular my husband and I knew nothing else our whole childhoods. He, because he was mixed raced in the UK and children from neither race would want to play with him. And I myself came from Germany to Slovenia (back then still part of ‘victorious’…


Today I woke up in tears. Literally. You know those dreams where you cry in your dreams but when you wake up, the memory of it is instantly almost gone? But on very rare occasions, something touches you so deeply, that as you wake up, you feel actual tears running down your cheeks.

I haven’t had a dream like that in ages. What was it about? My friends. Some of them long lost, some of them not lost but very far away. So I saw the long lost friend in some office (in my dream) and she simply wouldn’t want…


Media and how to read them...

In any case, I like your article and you've touched just the tip of a very nasty iceberg, Catherine.

We love tearing other people down and the media... The media has become one big tabloid, would you agree? Before, ridiculous accusations and observations were a thing of tabloids. They must be out of business by now because the general media is ridiculous enough already, right? LOL. Reading anything in the media these days for me and my husband is an exercise about reading between the lines.

What happened with Meghan and Harry, the interview…


No, I’m not here to discuss Ivan Turgenev’s novel, don’t worry:).

Here is what I came across yet again and it inspired me to write today. My husband told me about this British colleague of his who lives in Taiwan. Let’s call him John.

John is an IT developer, a really brilliant one. Years ago he was earning 500 USD a day which was a fortune in Taiwan. For years he was living a life straight from the movie “Hangover”, worse even. “Hangover” was just a fun weekend for some bachelor party, but John’s life has been a bachelor party…


THANK YOU! Yeah, I've been there myself.

I have one simple rule (for myself): if I'm not entirely sure about something, I shouldn't do it.

I knew for sure I wanted to leave Slovenia for Germany and Germany for the UK. At some point I was sure I wanted to learn how to ride horses or play and sing on stage for my school mates or try out being a wedding photographer.

But I was never sure I wanted children. For many good and perhaps less great reasons.

But one of the biggest reasons were these two:

- I didn't…

Dasha M. Webb-Benjamin

Book author on love as it is, not as we want it to be. “Don’t Chase Love-Cut to the Chase” is now available on my website dmwebb-benjamin.com and on Amazon.

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